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Se​á​n Kangataran

by Seán Kangataran

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1.
Burn It All 04:18
I can tell by the tone that tonight we’re sleeping alone, In this bed and brick walls that for years we’ve called our home, And the words just don’t cut through more than the air, And we’re tired of trying but we’re not ready to fail. Welcome back to yourself it’s been a while since you’ve been home Welcome back to your heart it’s been too long since it held love. When I think about all the time that I’ve spent figuring out how to live my life, It makes my head spin thinking about how I’ve spent seven years afraid to live for even one. You can take your favourite books from the shelf. And I’ll go through whatever is left, And I’ll get the fire going in the garden, We’ll burn everything that isn’t worth taking. There’s no one here to blame, we both came into this, With healthy loving hearts and hopeful promises, Welcome back to yourself it’s been a while since you’ve been home Welcome back to your heart it’s been too long since it held love. When I think about all the time that I’ve spent figuring out how to live my life, It makes my head spin thinking about how I’ve spent seven years afraid to live for even one. When I think about all the time that I’ve spent figuring out how to live my life, It makes my head spin thinking about how I’ve spent seven years afraid to live for even one. Welcome back to yourself it’s been a while since you’ve been home Welcome back to your heart it’s been too long since it held love.
2.
Be The Dust 05:00
To rest, to rest hands crossed and be the dust, be your dust. Under your arm I’ll be safe and warm in the storm Of our bed or the calm of the soil. Let the wind wear this black hill, sweep the rock and carry us away, All for which we’ve laboured adorns a table so bare and so beautiful ‘cause it’s ours. Leave this life for the living and this love for the resting. When the fuel of our love has worn itself down And we’re struggling to keep this house a home I hope we can trust in each other to carry this on. I know that I promised you a lot and I failed you just as often, Thank heavens both you and god have a soft spot for a trier. Leave this life for the living and this love for the resting I hope that you know that I will always love you
3.
I have seen your future, shuffling its way around this town These women are so old and bitter Carrying their bags and on their own. Maybe they’d be more cheerful, If they’d built their lives upon, Something more substantial Than the looks that left them long ago. If the only thing you see Worth loving yourself for Is your face in the mirror God help what you’ll become. Maybe they all grew up With drunks for dads and whores for mothers Maybe they all went to college To find the best man to lay down for To find the best man to lay down for Oh be the best man to lay down for. If the only thing you see Worth loving yourself for Is your face in the mirror God help what you’ll become. And if the only thing you see Worth living your life for Is the man upon your arm God help what you’ll become.
4.
Hold Back 05:41
I haven’t known you for all that long but when you Leave this room and let go of my arm I can’t Help but feel that I’m missing something good.. You have wrapped yourself around me darling And you have claimed your drawer in my apartment I protest but you laugh it off ‘cause you know you’re welcome. But darling I need you, but I need you to hold back. ‘cause If I can’t start loving myself what good will I be to anyone else As a lover I would be a disaster. And you pressed your fingers into my neck And dragged my bones right back to bed And convinced me, oh I have no reasons to worry. But I, I’ve heard those words from girls before And when the bills and bailiffs start blocking our front door They’d look at me with so much pity and say: Did you really think your love alone Would be enough to keep me living in your home Did you really, oh I thought that you knew better I thought that you said that you were clever. But darling I need you, but I need you to hold back. ‘cause If I can’t start loving myself what good will I be to anyone else As a lover I would be a disaster. And if I can’t find the strength myself to put my shoulder To the wheel like everyone else, As a lover I would be a disaster.
5.
I don’t know how I or anyone else Can learn to pick up all the pieces And to move on from a mess like this It’s not the hurting now that hurts the most I sent you all your things and yet everything here feels yours. I had vision and we had plans To stick together no matter the cost I thought that we were so much stronger It’s not the hurting now that hurts the most It’s all the love that we will never share and the life we have lost. I used to kiss your belly and say That one day it’d be a home to our babies And we would argue about their names It’s not the hurting now that hurts the most It’s all those named children that I will never know. I never thought I’d feel like that Every morning as you stirred I’d say I love you more than I did yesterday It’s not the hurting now that hurts the most It’s not the hurting now that hurts the most It’s not the hurting now that hurts the most It’s that I must learn to let you go And letting go hurts.
6.
Even If 02:58
Even if I had been given what I needed I still would have found something, something more I wanted. Even if we bought land I would need to finish Building us a fine home and filling it with children. Then all I’d want is one more minute and one more minute after Even then I’d still curse god for making this life so finite. When they all grow up I would need to see them Fall in love and marry and fill their homes with children. Even if I had been given fifty years Spending every single night with your body night to mine. Then all I’d want is one more minute and one more minute after Even then I’d still curse god for making this life so finite. Even if I had been given what I needed I still would have found something, something more I wanted.
7.
Hairpins 04:20
I have finally reached that lovely place Where I don’t wake up in the morning And stretch my arms around this bed Looking for your body next to mine. I’m happy with my lot though it might not Seem like much but it’s home And I have painted and I have cleaned Every trace of you from this room. I have found thirty-five hairpins of yours In my room stuck between the floorboards Getting rid of them has been like getting rid of you When I think I’m finished I find more. And I have had to start lying to my friends Just so they don’t have to worry I tell them all I’m doing just fine but in truth If I could make you suffer it would cheer me Yeah those aren’t the thoughts best aired When you’re trying to appear to be noble I guess the darker stories of our bitter broken hearts Are the stories best left untold. So send me back my books and all the other things of mine So that I can finally have some peace And keep your cheating heart and lies out of my life Oh Victoria, you’re too much for me, I have found thirty-five hairpins of yours In my room stuck between the floorboards Getting rid of them has been like getting rid of you When I think I’m finished I find more. So send me back my books and all the other things of mine So that I can finally have some peace And keep your cheating heart and lies out of my life Oh Victoria, you’re too much for me, I have found thirty-five hairpins of yours In my room stuck between the floorboards Getting rid of them has been like getting rid of you When I think I’m finished I find more.
8.
Lightning 04:25
And I first pressed my mouth against yours darling At the bottom of the stairs in High Street station As we spent that sunny day getting lost in Brooklyn And you, you took my breath away, before I knew what happened. Lightning doesn’t strike the same place twice but I’m hoping That for me it’ll learn to make an exception. They say we can’t ever know which of our days were the finest Until we’re counting out our lives in the remaining hours and minutes But I knew then and I know now even though everything has changed That was and always will be, one of those special days. Lightning doesn’t strike the same place twice but I’m learning If we have the strength to move on, It doesn’t have to make an exception No I don’t have to be an exception No I don’t have to be an exception.
9.
Wake Up 05:13
It was on a frail veined wing and a prayer that lead us to think That somewhere out there was a better life for people like you and I. But your love she had her own way of lifting you up, Right before she had the nerve to go and break your heart. So whatever you choose to do, don’t lose hope, So whatever you choose to do, don’t give up. So c’mon wake up we’ve a long way to go and don’t you know I’m just a half and I can’t do this on my own. The birds are screaming, and I still can’t sleep And I have been feeling you should join me at least On some godforsaken adventure, no I can’t promise you a lot If there’s one thing in this world of which I am sure It’s that you’re all that I’ve got So c’mon wake up help me start a fire ‘cause all that matters is how you walk through the fire, So c’mon wake up we’ve a long way to go and don’t you know I’m just a half and I can’t do this on my own. So whatever you choose to do, don’t lose hope, So whatever you choose to do, don’t give up.
10.
I am so easily influenced by my heroes they’re villains from pages. Bukowski had me sucking the bottle and preaching only loneliness would save us. And after I read everything I could find about the actor Klaus Kinski God help any woman unfortunate enough to have spent the night laying next to me. If that’s what it takes to deliver great art Then I’m not going to write about All of the things that make you hurt. I’ve heard it said that Hamsun had to pick the bones from his flesh just to keep up the strength To keep writing about what it’s like to be truly down and out When hunger and madness consumed him and the winters in Norway ripped through him Not even the written word could save him If that’s what it takes to deliver great art Then I’m not going to write about All of the things that make you hurt. ‘cause they’re not mine to talk about.

about

Glen Hansard (The Frames/Swell Season) - "The best thing you can say of any artist is that I believe him when he sings... This is the case with Sean Kangataran. Like other seekers before him, John Fante and Mic Christopher, he's working it out in private, then once it's expressed and its coordinates are located you're free to listen. We all have a soft spot for a trier. This is a beautiful and honest document from a life being lived in the present."

Ryan Stively (Port O'Brien) - "An undeniable warmth radiates through Sean's songs. It's a difficult thing to approach a well-tread acoustic folk-rock format and make it feel so original, but Sean has done just that. Angry, impassioned, heartbroken, wistful and nostalgic, Sean's delivery glows with an indelible sincerity. The wintery character, craftsmanship and arrangement of "Lightning" is reminiscent of "Michigan" era Sufjan Stevens. Something familiar yet very much unique is living in these songs, and their earnestness unmistakable. If a stripped-down Okkervil River are a jigger of Jim Beam or Jack Daniels, Sean Kangataran's self-titled offering is a smooth shot of Jameson or Bushmills."

Sean Kangataran, an Irish singer-songwriter, has had his songs favourably compared to those of Okkervil River, Sufjan Stevens, and the Decemberists, and his writing to the words of John Fante.

He spent early 2009 assisting his good friend Glen Hansard in the production of The Swell Season’s record Strict Joy.

His own debut album, written and recorded in Ireland during the summer of 2010 was a dark lyrical affair dealing with the rage and nostalgia of heartbreak, offset by joyful arrangements of brass and percussion.

He arrived in Los Angeles later that summer without knowing anyone and began assembling a group of musicians. They have played shows in Molly Malones, Room5, Silverlake Lounge, Viper Room and Bootleg Theater.

credits

released September 1, 2010

Album Band. Dave Deane (drums), Glen Forde (bass), Martin Murray (trombone), Peter Berrill (trumpet), Peter Browne (piano), Boris Merlich (violin).

Drums engineered by Ray Diamond.

Mixed by Karl Odlum.

Mastered by Fergal Davis.

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Sean Kangataran Los Angeles, California

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